An Open Letter To The Farming Community Of The British lsles

This is a message from your Masters, so listen up good. We are coming for your land, all of it, and there is nothing you can do to stop us. The fact that we will be using your inheritance tax to house countless bogus asylum seekers for the next five years has nothing to do with it. Nor does the war in Ukraine should we decide to put boots on the ground. This nation can always afford to fund a war. It was technically bankrupt at the outbreak of the First World War yet still managed to win it.

Your farms will be liquidated. Those of you who can afford to pay the inheritance tax will have their lands confiscated under compulsory purchase for a fraction of their value. Angela is already drawing up plans for this now. We will use this land to build luxury homes for bogus asylum seekers, to cover with solar panels, and to sell to multinationals who will use it to raise insects instead of beef and pork.

In the Irish Republic, farmers will be forced to slaughter almost all their cattle to reduce the nitrogen content of the soil and to combat climate change. Their land will likewise be subject to compulsory purchase for the same reasons as here.

And don’t think about holding anymore protests. I may have told Donald Trump there is free speech in Britain, there is, but not for you, especially after we smear you all as far right and give Hate Not Hope carte blanche to attack your outdoor rallies and disrupt your indoor meetings with bomb threats.

You cannot resist us, so best not try.

Signed by

Keir Stalin,

Rachel from Accounts,

Angela Planner &

Ed Millipede

on behalf of the World Economic Forum